Score: City 4 - 1 Palace

The Cityzens looked imperious against the South Londoners. A week after needing Cherki’s brilliance to bail them out against a stubborn Bournemouth, Cherki was again at the heart of everything City did well. His stat line: 2 goals, 3 shots/3 on target, 92% passing accuracy, 3 big chances created, 3 duels won, 3 recoveries. What more could you ask from your creative midfielder? Donnarumma had 1 save from 1 shot on target (Palace’s lone goal was not a shot on target of course, as it came off the crossbar) firmly showed the dominance of Manchester City over the 90 minutes.

If you were forced to find something to pick apart from this game for City it would have to be that for all their possession dominance, an their shot volume (18 shots), and their corner count, they only managed a 1.54 xg (against 4 that the scored) and only 50% of their shots were on target. Those numbers suggest they are finishing at a far greater rate than they should be expected to and the question will be can they keep that up. They have Haaland and Cherki so likely yes they can. They brought in Ndiaye on deadline day for even more creativity. Not to mention the arrival of a certain second Enzo. City very much look like the team that will challenge Arsenal for the title come May. That is, of course, so long as First Enzo can avoid his usual holiday swoon.

Score: Liverpool 2 - 2 Nottingham Forest

We covered this game on the podcast, which you should absolutely be listening to!

Liverpool are a massive work in progress. Andoni Iraola is a fantastic manager, but it takes time to implement a completely new tactical system on a team, especially one that largely underperformed last season. There were a lot of really good moments from the Reds going forward. Victor Munoz was particularly lively. They haven’t quite figured out their defensive set-up yet. Virgil Van Dijk looks like Homelander just before Butcher introduces him to the business end of a crow bar. Will VVD be, similarly, put out of his misery in January? Stay tuned…

Liverpool have assembled too much talent on the pitch and on the sideline to be too concerned. They will need to see Isak start paying back that massive transfer fee sooner rather than later if they plan to stay in a title race past Halloween.

Score: Cherries 1 - 1 Toffees

The Marco Rose era has yet to experience its first win. Where they can be forgiven for Week 1 against City, these games at home against the likes of Everton need to be converted in to three points if The Cherries want to complete at the sharp end of the league table.

Marco’s men did almost everything right on the day. They dominated nearly every statistical category, save for the most important one: Goals Scored. It was refreshing to see Bournemouth try and win the game, after they attempted to bunker-in and hope to hell they hung on to their surprise early lead at the Etihad. Where Bournemouth need to improve is in converting shots at goal into shot on target. They let fly seventeen total shots but only 5 were on target. That’s inefficiency cost them in the end as Tarkowski struck in added time to send Everton fans home happy. Bournemouth really should have been 2 or 3 goals to the good by then. How they fix that is Marco Rose’s question to answer. He’ll need to figure that out sooner than later.

Score: Coventry 0 - 1 Hull

The Tigers are flying! Two wins from two, 0 goals conceded. Even in their wildest fever dreams they never would have considered this. Dominated by Frank Lampard’s Coventry for 81 consecutive minutes, Hull bent but never broke. They kept the Sky Blues at arm’s length. For all of their nearly 70% possession, Coventry only managed 3 shots on target, and created 0 big chances for an xG of just 1.28.

Liam Millar was in dreamland, showing the Coventry defenders a clean pair of heels when played through on a swift counter. He only needed to hold his nerve and slot past the keeper, which he did with aplomb. Sending the away support into raptures.

Nearly every pundit and online football personality (including myself) picked Hull to finish dead last. They are already the odds-on favorite of the promoted teams to stay up.

Score: Spurs 0 - 2 Newcastle

Tottenham Hotspur were much, much better on the eye test. By the numbers, this was a pretty evenly contested match. However the numbers sometimes belie the truth. Spurs were the better team for the majority and will be disappointed to have come away with nothing. Just a little more sharpness or cohesion from De Zerbi’s men and this would have been a nerve-calming 2-0 victory for the Londoners.

For Newcastle, their summer of upheaval looks to have hardly affected them. They look generally as good as they did last season, and should very likely finish in about the same spot in the table if performances continue in this vein. Unlike Pedro Porro, Anthony Elanga has continued his fine form from the World Cup. He now has two goals in two games and looks like one of the most dangerous wingers in the division at the moment. We would be remiss if we didn’t call out Yoane Wissa’s moment of sumptuous improvisation. We’ve seen some cracking goals so far and that has to be up there with the best.

Score: Chelsea 4 - 3 Brighton

The progression of Brighton players and staff from Sussex to Stamford Bridge since the BlueCo takeover has turned this one into a bit of a derby. These days, the Brighton fans loving nothing more than getting one over on their wealthy tormentors (or benefactors, depending on how you look at it). Sadly for the Seagulls that would not be the case in the Fulham sunshine. Chelsea stormed out to a 3-0 lead thanks to goals from Romeo Lavia (his first for the club), Pedro Neto, and Joao Pedro. The away support was incensed with their former striker when he chose to celebrate his goal in front of them by pointing to the Club World Cup winners badge on his chest.

Brighton did get back into this game when Pedro Neto failed to make any contact with a half-hearted tackle just over the halfway line. While it looked as though new #1 Emi Martinez had spared his colleague’s blushes, the rebound fell to the newest young midfielder off the Brighton Talent Identification Production Line, who lashed a wonderful volley into the far side netting. It won’t have made Chelsea fans (including this one) any happier that Pedro Neto just stood idly, just a yard away from Yalcouye as the rebound fell to him in the box.

The Seagulls started the second period as they ended the first: on top of Chelsea. Brighton were then well and truly back in it on 63 minutes when Joao Pedro bundled an attempted cross beyond Martinez and into his own net. It looked as though there would be only one winner at that point, and it wasn’t the home side. However, a rested and refreshed Cole Palmer had to have his say. Collecting the ball on the inside right channel, cutting across the top of the box before unleashing an unstoppable left-footed curler beyond Verbruggen.

Brighton were still the more dangerous team for the final 15 minutes but were not able to force a third goal with enough time remaining to make Chelsea sweat. That goal did come from a long throw, showing as things change, much stays the same.

Score: Leeds 1 - 1 Brentford

The work being done on Elland Road’s West Stand shows that Leeds have every intention of remaining a Premier League team for the foreseeable future. Their play on the pitch backed that up.

Having gone down to a lovely Kevin Schade strike just before half-time, Leeds fought back with dogged determination. Eventually equalizing through Dominic Calvert-Lewin, which you can’t say was any less than they deserved.

This was an entertaining, hard-fought contest between two teams determined to be in the upper half of the table when the dust settles. The early signs are positive for both clubs.

Score: Black Cats 1 - 0 Cottagers

Wilson Isidor should have scored with his first touch of the ball, only to see his guided effort come back off the post. He did get his name on the scoresheet just minutes later when he converted a cross from the other side, getting to the ball just before a sprawling Bernd Leno.

Fulham just didn’t do enough in this game to take anything from it. Josh King was bright in moments, but they never truly tested the Sunderland goal. Sunderland’s defense suggests that perhaps Chelsea’s porous defending will make a lot of attacks look better than they truly are.

Sunderland gets their campaign off the mark, while Arbeloa is still looking for his first victory as a manager in England.

Score: United 5 - 2 Ipswich

Things started so well for Ipswich. Enciso nearly (and really should have) put the visitors ahead early, only to shoot directly at Lammens in the United goal. Leif Davis went one better, firing Ipswich into the lead on 29 minutes before Bruno Fernandes would level proceedings.

Inevitably, we need to talk about VAR yet again. What is the point of a system that can’t come to a common-sense decision? Some will argue that by the letter of the law VAR had to confirm the goal since Maguire’s shot was off target and went down as an own goal on Greaves. This is where common sense must take over; Maguire’s handball is so obvious and evident that the correct call for football’s sake is to recommend a review for deliberate handball and cancel the goal. It wouldn’t matter in the end, as United would put 3 more on the board after this. Though it does serve to call out what is the point of a law that is dependent on the outcome of the play? I understand that if Maguire’s handball is accidental, that alone should not cancel the goal. But Maguire’s shot being off target, leading to an own goal just feels wrong and against the spirit of the game.

Greaves was involved again a few minutes later, much to his chagrin that involvement would lead to another United goal. While contact was minimal, and Cunha was already on his way down VAR is never going to get involved. Bruno coolly slots the penalty to the side Scherpen was daring him to go to for added salt in poor Greaves’ wound.

Bruno completed his hat-trick 7 minutes later, and Ipswich scored a late consolation to make the final score slightly less embarrassing.

Score: Villa 0 - 1 Arsenal

What a difference a week can make to a team. Villa, with their newly recruited striker looked like a completely different team than the one that capitulated at Brighton in week 1. They could have been one up had Buendia’s drive been just an inch or two lower. Instead, the ball caromed off the bar and that was really the last time they threatened Raya’s goal.

Arsenal looked more like the team that ground out a first Premier League title in 22 years than the free-flowing attacking team that took Coventry apart week one. It’s not pretty, it’s not entertaining, but it is brutally effective. Saka scored for the second consecutive Premier League game. The Gunners title defense is well and truly on, two games-two wins-zero goals conceded. Lather, Rinse, Repeat.