Score: Liverpool 4 - 2 Bournemouth

Didn’t it just look like a major upset was on the cards? Didn’t it just. Bournemouth conjured up two goals to haul themselves back into the game. As the famous saying goes, it’s the hope that kills you. 

Just when it looked like the Cherries were going to gate crash the Champion’s party, Liverpool turned on the style again and put the game to bed to send their fans home delighted and singing the name of their dear departed Diogo Jota. 

There’s much football we can talk about in this game, but they pale in comparison to the racial abuse of Antione Seymeno. What goes through the head of these idiots? They’ll wear a shirt with Virgil or Konate on the back, and go on to do what he did to Seymeno. Why? Because he wears a different shirt? Seymeno must be applauded for his courage to report the incident and for his reaction. When will we stop having to say “he must be applauded for his reaction”? Will it take games being forfeited and the offending supporter’s team taking a loss to put an end to this? If so, let’s do that today. No hesitation, this must stop. If you are a match going supporter, it’s on you to stop this in the stadia. Do not condone it because Liam’s a good guy. Do not look the other way because Owen is just a passionate supporter. Call these people out for the vile humans they are. Remove them from your groups and make it clear that you will not tolerate racists amongst you. It’s up to ALL of us to remove this stain from the game we love.

Score: Villa 0 - 0 Newcastle

The less said about this game the better. Newcastle had all the chances, and scored none of them. Almost like the best striker at the club since Shearer was at home throwing a strop. Elanga needs to lay the ball off to Gordon in the first 3 minutes. That’s a tap in if he does. 

I’m entirely unsure what Konsa had to feel aggrieved about. That has to be the most clear cut DOGSO red card we will see all season. 

For a game between two teams with European aspirations, this was one of the dullest, insipid 0-0. It reminded me of those Chelsea v Manchester United games back when it was Jose v Sir Alex. Both teams were afraid to lose, so had no real impetus to go out and try to win the game.

Score: Brighton 1 - 1 Fulham

A derby, of sorts, in my house. My wife is a Seagulls supporter and my 5 year old is dyed in the wool Fulham (don’t ask me why–I think it has something to do with them wearing purple two seasons ago).

Brighton are going to be a very good team this season, if they can sort out who’s going to score the goals. They’ve brought in a couple strikers, who are still settling in. The jury remains out for now in that regard. 

What is clear, Fabian Hurzeler has picked up where he left off last season. Brighton look very impressive from box to box. They press aggressively, they move the ball quickly through the lines and they defend solidly. They are an entertaining team. 

Speaking of picking up where they’ve left off, Marco Silva’s Fulham team look like Marco Silva’s Fulham team. If it aint broke, don’t fix it as they say. I do think Fulham needs a striker to push or over take Jimenez if they want to break free from that mid-table mediocrity. 

Brighton, I feel, did enough to win this game. Fulham had one real chance, which they put away, at the death. Brighton will be kicking themselves for not being clinical enough.

Score: Sunderland 3 - 0 West Ham

Having really cut my teeth on the premier league in the early aughties, it's a treat to see Sunderland back. The Stadium Of Light deserves Premier League games. The Weirside club announced themselves with authority as well. 

After a generally entertaining first hour where each team traded half-chances, Sunderland took the game by the scruff of the neck. West Ham had no answer. This is what you get with a Graham Potter team though. They will generally be tidy, and decent to watch but they have the propensity to drop an absolute clanger on the day. Could be that it stems from Potter’s “the cool teacher at school” personality as much as his tactics, but his teams so often lack a killer instinct. They lack the graft required, and as a result can get turned over.

I think this game says more about Potter’s West Ham than it says about Le Bris’ Black Cats. I still think Sunderland will go back down, but I would be lying if there wasn’t a large part of me that will be sad if they do.

Score: Spurs 3 - 0 Burnley

Tottenham looked like they had a point to prove after going all Spursy in the Super Cup last week. They could hardly have been handed a better opening day fixture to prove last year’s 17th place finish was an aberration and Tottenham took full advantage of it. They put Burnley to the sword. Bergval was impressive, Kudus equally so. Plus THAT goal from Richarlison. 

Tottenham will be hoping this isn’t as good as it gets, while Burnley will be praying this is as bad as it gets for them. There isn’t much more to say about this match on the field.

Honest question, is there a ban on singing inside the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium? Even the annoying drone of When The Spurs Go Marching In was noticeably absent. With their team in the lead, the supporters were satisfied with a few oohs and ahhs in response to Kudus’ party tricks on the ball. I didn’t realize 63,000 humans could produce such a lack of noise. I’ve been to house parties that were louder than the first 65 minutes of this match. 

We were treated to a bit of history. Martin Dubrvaka became the first keeper to concede a corner kick for holding on the ball for more than 8 seconds. I had my money on Pickford claiming that particular honor, if I’m honest.

Score: Wolves 0 - 4 Manchester City

The Wolves fans are a lovely bunch, I know a handful personally. They didn’t deserve this. They even started quite well. Save for Munetsi’s ability to play a yard offside at all times, Wolves might have punched City in the mouth. From about the 30th minute on, City looked imperious. The new signings were nothing short of impressive. On the first goal, Reijnders play is strong evidence for introducing the hockey style second assist. The juke, the jink to Rico Lewis, exquisite. If he keeps this up they will be calling him Balon d’Or winner Tijjani Reijnders. Though he does need to start sharing around the letter J. Three in one full name is just selfish.

If this game is any evidence, City are back in a big way. The rest of the division should be worried.

Score: Chelsea 0 - 0 Crystal Palace

Chelsea appear to be allergic to title challenge talk. After their excursions in the USA, there has been some murmurings (outside of Jaime Carragher of course) of them being ready to take the next step. Everything they did in this game looked like a team who have only been back from their break for 10 days. When faced with Palace’s massed defensive ranks they were slow, predictable, and lacking creativity. Palmer was marked out of the game, Enzo Fernandes looked exhausted in the London sunshine, and even Joao Pedro was off the pace. 

However, on another day, Chelsea go into the half at least 2-0 up and the game is completely different. On a different day, Andrey Santos buries that chance at the death and Chelsea walk away 1-0 winners and the narrative is “found a way to win when they were below their best”.

 I don’t care what anyone says about “going down too easily”, you can’t put two hands into a player’s back and push them 3 feet out of the way in the box. That’s a clear foul on Enzo. If an attacking player does that to score a goal, it’s immediately ruled out. So if the action is enough to overturn a goal it damn well is enough to award a penalty. 

Speaking of overturned calls. Eze’s goal was correctly ruled out. Letter of the law, that goal can not stand. It’s not a foul, to be sure. Palace fans calling it “disgusting” and “the worst VAR call you’ll see all season” need to give their heads a wobble. It’s as cut and dry as offside. Marc Guehi is inside of 1 meter from the wall when the kick is taken. Which results in an indirect free kick for the defending team. Simple as. No debate. 

In defense of Palace, many teams are going to fail to break them down this year. Glanser has them expertly drilled. Every player knows their job and does it aplomb. The only question about this team is can they score enough goals to threaten the European places. With Eze likely leaving, I’m not sure they can.

Score: Forest 3 - 1 Brentford

Pour one out for Keith Andrews. We may be witnessing one of the shortest managerial tenures in recent history. He looks completely out of his depth. The only positive you can mention from this game is he won the second half. After Forest was home and dry. Shorn of all their assets, this Brentford squad resembled a team fighting for a promotion playoff spot from the Championship more than it resembled an established Premier League outfit. Three Brentford players decided to mark Chris Wood on corner, made a horrible hash of it leaving the Kiwi to poke home. It was clownshoes defending. Considering Keith Andrews is meant to be first and foremost a set piece specialist, Bees supporters should be very worried. 

What can you say about Forest. They looked good. They took their chances and finished them well. Took their foot off the gas for the second 45, so it’s hard to really get too much of a measure of the team. They look like a Nuno team. Which is a compliment (outside of his stint in North London of course). Well organized, energetic, better than the sum of their parts. The man got Chris Wood to score 20 goals last season and he’s got a double week 1. He’s on pace for 76 goals right now… They managed to keep hold of Gibbs-White for now, and they have his  likely replacement in Omari Hutchinson joining. A good team that should be getting better. Out to prove last season was no fluke, and they look likely to do so.

Score: Manchester United 0 - 1 Arsenal

New season, new strikers, same old Arsenal, same old United. 

Arsenal relied on their exceptional team defense to keep United at bay, and scored for a set piece. Cue up the new Jovic mural. Bayindir is fouled. There’s really no debating that. Saliba has his arm outstretched into Bayindir, pushing him backwards. Saliba never jumps, never makes any discernable attempt to make a play on the ball. His task, which he stuck to perfectly, is to obstruct the United net minder. Does Bayindir need to be stronger, yes. Is it a foul, also yes. The hordes of Gooners online are doing what they do and claiming false dichotomy, posting static images of De Ligt “blocking” off Raya and calling it “same, same”. However there is a major difference, the United center half is standing in front of Raya, allowed to maintain his position on the pitch. Saliba is moving towards Bayindir, creating the contact and not competing for the ball. 

Saliba steps on Cunha’s foot in the penalty box, without winning the ball. No call, no serious review. Should have been a penalty. You can bet, Arsenal fans won’t be counting these points as Points earned by bad calls at the end of the season when they come up short again and are looking for excuses.

Worrying for Arsenal, their new number 9, the missing piece of the puzzle looked completely lost. Don’t be surprised to see Havertz starting again after the first international break.

On the United side, Mbuemo looks good. Cunha looks good. As you expect. In the end, their faults are still far too many to compete. They MUST solve their goal keeper situation. Bayindir makes Onana look like a competent goal keeper and that’s a heck of a shout. Donnarumma might come in and chuck a few in his own net, sure. However his presence is what is required to solidify that defense.

Score: Leeds 1 - 0 Everton

Premier League is back at Elland Road and didn’t Leeds look like they belonged! Everton spent the first 45 minutes camped in their own half. Beto looked more like a Basketball goal than a hold up man, everything that came his way rebounding back to a white shirt. 

Leeds’ press was relentless. The only thing that prevented the game from being put to bed by the first whistle was Leeds’ lack of an elite finisher. Joel Piroe looks like a tidy forward, runs the channels well, drops in to the 10 to receive the ball, links up play well. What he doesn’t do, or has not yet proved he can do is poach goals. 

Such was the manner of Leeds’ total dominance that one of Everton’s first shots, if you can even call Gana’s wild effort a “shot”, was in the 53rd minute. 

Leeds were full value for their win here. Even if the penalty was dodgy. It’s absolutely not clear that the ball comes off Tarkowski’s arm below the t-shirt line. Which of course means the call in the field must stand and we had no VAR drama here. Let’s be clear, Tarkowski leans in to the ball, even though his arm is down by his side, if the contact was below the “t-shirt line” (which I believe it was based on Tarkowski himself pointing to his naked bicep when pleading his case to Chris Cavanagh) it must be a penalty by law. 

Granted it was only Everton, but Leeds looked like they belonged. They are going to be a fun watch this season if they can press and cross like this every game

Everton will be galvanized by the fact that while they were completely outplayed, they were only done late by a penalty. That and the fact that Jordan Pickford didn’t really have much to do. Which is always a shame for the neutral viewer. We all love a bit of Pickford’s shithousery.