The Short Corner

Well well well. Look who’s starting to come into their own and appear poised for a dominant season.  

No, not Arsenal, ME!

Let’s take a look back and what will undoubtedly be my high water mark for the season

Game 1: Arsenal vs Nottingham Forest

Prediction: Arsenal 3-0

Reality: Bang on

Two exacts in a row if you believe my very true story of accidentally cutting off my prediction of Liverpool v Arsenal last week. 

Comfortable, if a less than impressive performance than 3-0 would indicate. Not sure I’d be dusting a spot on the mantle for a trophy if I was Arteta just yet though. Some real sloppy play that a half way competent team would have capitalized on. 

As for Forest I’ll reserve judgement till the manager can remember all his players names

Game 2: West Ham vs Spurs

Prediction: Spurs 2–1

Reality: Spurs 3-0

There is a phenomenon amongst terminal patients where right at the end they seem to come back from the brink and appear headed for recovery. It’s called “terminal lucidity” or “The Rally”. Pre-break West Ham thrashed Forest 3-0. Draw your own conclusions. 

As for Spurs, like I said. They’re decent. Nothing to write home about. If they were fries (chips to anyone over the pond) they’d be Burger King. Completely forgettable except for the exciting time an onion ring slips in by mistake.

Match 3: Manchester Derby

Prediction: City 4-2

Reality City 3-0

Manchester remains blue, but with a far more embarrassing display than predicted. 

City seem like a team that will route the dregs of the league but might be too soft at the back to truly compete for the title. But when they do play inferior teams they are fun to watch. 

United…. Yeesh. Rueben should be seriously researching good moving companies in his area because his time has to be running short. Thoroughly outmanaged again. Pep somehow Jedi mind tricked him into allowing City to sit back and play counter attack, at home. Rueben also seems to think Bruno can play defense as a midfielder. He is wildly incorrect as we all saw Bruno get a lovely look at Fodden jog past him to head home the first goal. This team is a mess and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t enjoying it. 

OK on to Match week 5 where I hope to be slightly better than United

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Liverpool top the table with an undefeated start but anyone who is watching these games have seen it hasn’t exactly been a romp so far. But that’s the cliché isn’t it? Champions figure out how to get it done even when they don’t have their best. Throw in the emotional edge of playing for a fallen team mate and you may be looking at repeat champions. 

Everton have Jack Grealish now. I assume he’s enjoying actually seeing the field again after winning trophies from the pine at City. Everton will be solidly mediocre this year, not nearly enough fire power to go to Anfield and get a win.

Prediction: Liverpool 2-0

Here’s the first real must win game if the Gunners are serious about a title this year. Losing at Liverpool isn’t ideal but it was an away game lost on a worldie free kick. This week is a different animal. City come to the Emirates fresh off a derby demolition. Laymen like me would think Pep would use a similar counter attack strategy but that’s why I write a nonsense column and he wins titles. 

This is a referendum on Arteta. This game has to be won. I don’t want to hear “we had a higher xG” or that they dominated the game. This isn’t City from 3 years ago. If you think you can win the title you win this game. 

The only caveat is we are way outside of Arsenal bottling season. I think they get it done this week and save the collapse for Christmas. 

Prediction: Arsenal 3-1

I’ll be honest. I’m picking this game because I never pick a Wolves game to watch. Outside of being the only team I know of to wear gold I think I know nothing about them. When I think Midlands Villa comes to mind first. When I think of bad teams this year West Ham comes to mind first. They are literally just a team that exists. So hopefully something happens in this game to make them memorable. 

As for Leeds, they need to finish some of the many crosses they take. They seem to be settling into this decade’s yo-yo team. Snatching the title away from the terminally dull West Brom. I think both these teams go down and they’ll play a game fitting of that prediction. 

Prediction: I won’t actually watch this game, 0-0

Till next week!