The season presses on and my picks seemingly get worse and worse. The main caveat is that I’m just a fan and hopefully no one is laying money down on my picks. If you are… just send me 5% of any winnings.
Match 1: Brentford vs Man Utd
Prediction: 2-1 Brentford
Reality: 3-1 Brentford
If the new Onana could make an easy save I would have had this bang on. But apparently United are insistent on playing sub sub sub par Keepers. Let’s all keep a Rueben google alert and when he’s shit canned read the main feed on this site for his possible replacement.
Match 2: Chelsea vs Brighton
Prediction: 2-2
Prediction: 0-0
Reality: 3-1 Brighton
Ok. Full disclosure, I’m a Chelsea supporter, just like the other dumbass on this site. I picked them as my team when they signed Damien Duff. I’m aware of the stigma of supporting Chelsea. I’m also American and let me tell you that I hate Americans owning prem teams. So if you detect some bias it’s absolutely there.
Game 3
Aston Villa v Fulham
Prediction: 2-0 Fulham
Reality: 3-1 Villa
This is why it’s hard to predict games. Villa has been as impotent as a 70yr old without his Cialis and then Villa comes out and kicks wholesale ass. Thankfully none of you pay for this. My Villa contact was over the moon. Let’s see if this cow continues to kick.
Onto this week!
Match 1
Manchester United v Sunderland
He’s still the manager!!! How?!?! Rueben has a losing Prem record, can’t watch a penalty shoot out and is single-handedly destroying Sir Alex’s legacy.
Never has a bottom 5 team faced such an early must win. But when your manager looks like a glorified DJ you try to get every edge you can. United aren’t playing the children of Chelsea, so I don’t predict a win.
Prediction 2-0 Sunderland
Match 2
Arsenal vs West Ham
Here is test #1. They went up to Newcastle and won, despite Gabriel seeing no discipline from his reckless forearm.
Now this is a game that the Gunners should just runaway and secure victory.
A push over team. Liverpool in turmoil, a real manager would take advantage. This is the moment. The chance to put the league on notice.
But seeing as it’s Arsenal I’m going draw.
Prediction 1-1
Match 3
Chelsea vs Liverpool
Ugh, now I have to combine fandom with shit talking?
Chelsea could stand to not sign every young player and instead get a manager that’s not Temu pep. Zero red cards would be a huge improvement.
Even best case scenario screams loss. Prove me wrong you blues.
Prediction : 2-1 Liverpool
Watch along everyone to see just how wrong I am!